The war goes on, but truthfully, I am a soldier who has been protected through the heat of battle. Hard combat has thus far passed me by! All the assaults have been miraculously deflected by my Lord, my husband, my terrific family, and all my prayer partners.
My struggle took place in pre-war times, before I knew I had such a formidable enemy. My enemy was camouflaged very well, wreaking havoc in my body for months - possibly years. Once he was exposed, and I knew I had to fight and prepared myself as well as possible for the war, my victory began. Somehow, as I sit in the battlefield of the chemo room at the Cancer Institute, and I hear other soldiers telling of their wars with sometimes horrific details, I wonder at the mercy of my God to come to my aid so completely. Doesn't He remember my sins? Doesn't He remember all the times I ignored Him in my attitude? My unfaithfulness, even in light of His faithfulness? Apparently not, and He proves to me that "His mercies are new every morning"!
Today I had my 4th chemo treatment. I had such a good white cell count that I will be allowed to skip the Newlasta shot which makes me feel sore and tired. My weight is still good, and the Dr. says I am doing great! I have some new orders from him - I will have another PET scan, heart test and lung test this week and I know the results will be good.
As I sit and write to all my loved ones waiting for me to be through with the war, and contemplate my lot, I feel so blessed and so undeservedly favored. Yes, I am still in the war, war against months of stomach pain and seeing 30 pounds of my flesh melt away to expose my bones, months of painful arthritis which made it hard to move, tiredness so complete it took away my desire to do even the smallest non-essential things, and the fear caused by a desperate inner voice telling me that I must be very sick. But that victory is soon and sure! This soldier thanks you for your prayers, but rejoice with me too!!
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